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Sep 3, 2002, 3:34pm

I admit it, im hooked. :o
Here is something I found on the internet, I think you will enjoy it.

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THE LAWS OF ANIME

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is
rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Accoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because
there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored
Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does
something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends
and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a
fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so
quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of
society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter
side down.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical
damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they
didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they
are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil
damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with
either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks
the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corrallary -

Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corrallary -

Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most
unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The
Matchstick City".

#12 - Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an
energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this
is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly porportional to
its size.

#15 - Law of Inexhaustability

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless
they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm
increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy
of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the
difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper
Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held
upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several
battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in
the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corrallary -

The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit
anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corrallary -

Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the
'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take
them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then
escape.

Third Corrallary -

Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in
the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from
doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry,
using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing
complex martial arts maneuvres.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo. (* Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio
disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff need to get out
more. *)

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more,
under high pressure.

#19 - Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes,
loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is
not unknown, and can only be hurt with bladed weapons.

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines
full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignifigant example of a
caring/loving emotion or a song.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't....

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things.... Like missing body
parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as
annoying.

#24 - Law of Antagonistic Americanthropomorphism

The really nasty 'Bad Guys' are always skinny Americans.

#25 - Law of Americanthropomorphistic Intellectual Inferiority

The stupid 'Good Guys' are always big Americans.

First Corrallary -

The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred
to as the Green Line Effect)

Second Corrallary -

The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.

#26 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the
volume at which they are speaking.

#27 - Law of Feline Mutation

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any

#28 - Law of Conservation of Firepower

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent
in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a
last resort.

#29 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is
inversely proportional to its complexity.

#30 - Law of Melee Luminescence

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts
prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a
glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red
for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the
electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#31 - Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually
hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#32 - Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair
color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#33 - Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime
Aero-Dynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is
automatically aerodynamic.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless
of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any
female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have
her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow.

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably
wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out
dramatically behind him.

First Corrallary (Cryo-Adaptability) -

All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold
temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing
in snow.

Second Corrallary (Indecent Invulnerability) -

Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of
damage.

#35 - Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an
instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more
"simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an
intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never
attempted these things before.

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