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The Dark Within the Light (moved)
About Truespace Archives
These pages are a copy of the official truespace forums prior to their removal somewhere around 2011.
They are retained here for archive purposes only.
The Dark Within the Light (moved) // Work in Progress
Post by 2much4U // Apr 20, 2008, 6:08am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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I've decided to move my "Dark Within the Light" project over here. It's kind of turned into a WIP since the original posting. For a link to the original, here you go:
http://forums1.caligari.com/truespace/showthread.php?t=5004 |
Post by jamesmc // Apr 20, 2008, 6:41am
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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Still think you need to get rid of that hand clapper sound, that is so 80ish.
The song needs a more dramatic interlude (pause). Something with strings in the middle of the song might be nice.
This way the song has an origin, that is, a reflection back to a simpler time.
It could also use a counter melody in parts to give it a lift.
The them (bom bom bom bom dee bom bom dee bom) is okay, but it needs a baritone or even a bass chiming in there with a counter melody to keep it from being repetitious.
Just my opinion though.
It has the makings of a great song, if you care to put in some fillers. Each song should tell a story not just make your fingers tap. Imagine a story in your mind (beginning, middle, end) and tell it. :) |
Post by Jack Edwards // Apr 20, 2008, 7:33am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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Definitely agree about the clapping sample. :o |
Post by 2much4U // Apr 25, 2008, 2:53am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Definitely agree about the clapping sample. :o
I think I'll try to replace it with another sound, like a snare drum. This was suggested earlier. However, I already use a snare in the song, and I need another sound to replace that one. What sounds similar, but not drastically? |
Post by Jack Edwards // Apr 25, 2008, 7:06am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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Maybe woodblocks, tambourine, or some kind of ethnic (japanese?) drum. Also you could consider taking it in a bit of an Industrial direction and use some kind of mechanical sounding sample. |
Post by jamesmc // Apr 25, 2008, 7:07am
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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I'd rather hear an added counter rhythm than something mechanical like a beat. |
Post by 2much4U // May 1, 2008, 12:46pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Kay, I'm back! And I'm moving on to demo 6. In this next version, the clap sound goes bye-bye, and I'm moving closer to a hip hop style of techno, though with a nice touch of trance. :D I also added more bass, and some extra sounds to keep up the rhythm. As for a counter melody, I'm working on it.
I've included my latest encoding (ran the process just now!)
Enjoy!
PS. hope this was an improvement! |
Post by jamesmc // May 1, 2008, 1:30pm
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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Much improved!
If it were me doing and I'm not;
:D
I would soften the "toms" back beat volume and perhaps even lower them an octave.
Also, on the solo towards the last, I would use a Clav rather than the higher pitched organ sound so as to maintain the continuity of the song.
Coming along nicely though, great work! |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 2, 2008, 1:13am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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Much improved! :banana:
First thing I noticed is that your bass, saw tooth, and kick drum seem a bit too clean (synth) and you may want to dirty them up by running them through some VST effects or use edgier versions of the synths to give them a bit of bite. It can also help to vary some of the synth or VST effect parameters over time to add interest to the instrument.
Particularly useful is to start a sound out relatively clean and then fatten it and grunge it at keep points in the song to add that extra oomph.
The instustrial "shhhhhhft" sound works pretty well, but I think it may be too regularly spaced through out the piece. So I'd recommend either more strategic positioning during some areas of the song, or to vary the volume envelope for it in places.
Keep working on it! :D |
Post by 2much4U // May 5, 2008, 3:40am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Here's a newer version. I lowered the bass, and matched it to the melody. Some people thought that the rapid notes were annoying, so I changed that too.
Enjoy! |
Post by 2much4U // May 5, 2008, 9:04am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Hi again! More changes in this post, with enhanced stereo, more effects, and some added notes here and there. Also, the name of the song has been changed from "The Dark Within the Light" to "Darkened Angel." It's shorter, sweeter, and to the point.
Like it? |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 5, 2008, 10:36am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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You're almost there and it's sounding much more professional. :D
My advice would be to work in hints of the main theme in earlier in the song so that when the full theme kicks in it will be more climatic. |
Post by 2much4U // May 7, 2008, 3:29am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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I posted this on newgrounds.com to see what people over there thought and I got a 1.7 out of 5 (and a 7 out of 10). People thought it "gave them a headache." Is the song too fast? Should I make it slower?
Also, is it too busy? Maybe I should reconstruct the beat.... |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 7, 2008, 7:52am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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hmm... sounds like a bunch of jerks. Probably worth checking to see if the people who leave comments have produced anything decent. Then you know who it talking crap and who knows their stuff.
I listened through a lot of the stuff at newgrounds.com and except for a few classical pieces most of it was total crap. :( You may want to check into more professional oriented forums for more serious help with your work. Here's one that I'm aware of because of using Tracktion:
http://www.kvraudio.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=14
The main place where I felt the most improvement could be made is that most of the song is a long lead up to the main theme which is only played once and then it's all over. Also the part before the main theme is a bit repetitive and borders slightly on cheesy. You could fix that by working in the idea of the main theme to add some interest and to build for when the main theme actually kicks in.
Keep at it! You're almost there with this one. The progress from the original which sounded like 80's video game music is tremendous and you shouldn't let people who clearly don't have anything constructive to say get you down. |
Post by jamesmc // May 7, 2008, 8:12am
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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Much improved!
I still think the drums are taking too much attention away from your theme.
The style of music requires more an occasional tap on the snare than a constant paradiddle, imo.
The rapid cymbal entry was a nice addition though.
What I envison is a dark forested area and some unseen figure running through it. Can't quite make out what the creature is, but it's moving rapidly and the music shows the progression from dark to light back to dark as it makes it way through the surreal forest.
The rapid drum beat should be removed imo and replaced with a 'heartbeat' or pace rhythm of the creature moving through its environment.
I would even put in a fade pause some where in the song as if the creature found a temporary escape into some light, but then bolts off once again into the dark.
Sorry for my mental imagery, but it helps me visualize the mood I think the song should go for.
Of course, your mental imagery is what is important and should be the deciding factor.
Personally, rapid snare in a drama piece is not required. One would want something subtle, perhaps even some sinister pulse driving the music in beat. |
Post by 2much4U // May 9, 2008, 9:45am
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Ha! And a better depiction of my song than even I could think of! :D Here's something new. I rearranged certain elements of the track and replaced some of the samples. Also, it has some extra "something" in there that I think makes this song much closer to being finished!
- Enjoy!
PS. Oh, and also the BPM was lowered from 160 to 150. (It's slower). Some people thought it was too fast. |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 9, 2008, 10:58am
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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This is much tighter and the bridge between the two versions of the main theme helps build the song better than just doing the main theme once.
The BPM might be a little on the slow side now, maybe 155 would be the sweet spot?
I liked the high pitched waterdrop/wood block sound you used in the previous version better, you should consider going back to that sample.
The "pphhfffsssshhhhhgt" sound needs to be quieter.
Keep working on it! You're steadily improving with each version you post and you're up over a respectable 3 minutes on the song length now. ;) |
Post by 2much4U // May 13, 2008, 12:17pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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New improvements in this installment! I've (roughly) finished composing the song. It still has some kinks to work out, however, and after that I'll be adding some effects to the tracks. I still have a long way to go....
Anyway, I've reach a final length of 5 minutes, 54 seconds (at 140 BPM, not sure what the final length will be at a faster pace). A friend told me to experimentally slow it down further, and I think I like the result better. I'll probably do a poll to see what you all think.
In this version, I switched up some things. New chords, melodies, and samples were all implemented. I'm extremely proud of the end, but that's just me. :rolleyes:
I hope that you all enjoy this difficult-to-make-easy-to-listen-to track! :p It's been what seems like an abnormally brutal session with my music teacher! |
Post by jamesmc // May 13, 2008, 12:22pm
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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It sounds much more quiet than the previous versions.
No link perhaps? :)
ah, delayed reaction on the link showing up...
La musique partage la fierté et le contact du compositeur. Puits fait.:banana: |
Post by 2much4U // May 13, 2008, 1:02pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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I edited the previous post. The link is there now. What do you think? |
Post by jamesmc // May 13, 2008, 1:37pm
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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I edited my post as well and put the reply in French. :D |
Post by 2much4U // May 13, 2008, 1:44pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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I edited my post as well and put the reply in French. :D
Well, I'm not that good with foreign languages, but google is the perfect tool!
"The music shares the pride and contact the composer. Well done."
Thank you very much! So does that mean you are pleased with the result? Should I add or change anything more? |
Post by jamesmc // May 13, 2008, 2:05pm
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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Well, I'm not that good with foreign languages, but google is the perfect tool!
"The music shares the pride and contact the composer. Well done."
Thank you very much! So does that mean you are pleased with the result? Should I add or change anything more?
Just needs a video and/or visuals to go with it now.
So get cracking! :D |
Post by 2much4U // May 14, 2008, 2:33pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Just needs a video and/or visuals to go with it now.
So get cracking! :D
Not quite yet...I have one last post to make on the song: THE FINAL RELEASE!
I've posted it on Newgrounds, so here is the final link:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/144001
I'm happy with it, but I would still like some comments on it, for future references. Enjoy!!!!! |
Post by jamesmc // May 14, 2008, 3:32pm
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jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
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Two thumbs up!!
It will fit nicely into a RPG game or even an anime saga.
And, you know what else? I think with a concert implementation, it would be a dramatic piece portraying a themed mood!
amico bene composto! |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 14, 2008, 6:38pm
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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Good job :)
It's very cohesive now and all the parts fit together well. :banana: |
Post by 2much4U // May 16, 2008, 3:42pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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Good job :)
It's very cohesive now and all the parts fit together well. :banana:
Thanks! :D
Well, where do I go from here?;) I'm already working on a new song, and I'll be working twice as hard to make it twice as good! Did I mention that the hardware used to make this particular track was quite terrible? Here were the specs:
30 GB HDD
1.2 GHz Pentium 3 processor (single-core)
256 MBs of RAM
NO GRAPHICS CARD!!!
My new laptop, on the other hand, is much better, so I'll have better chances at better results! |
Post by Jack Edwards // May 16, 2008, 3:56pm
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Jack Edwards
Total Posts: 4062
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Ah but it's the sound card that matters. As Improv correctly rebuked me about before, low-latency and noise free recording/mixing is the key. Something that none of the consumer cards (including X-fi) can do. Fortunately the "pro" cards are relatively cheap these days and some of them come in laptop flavors as well. ;) |
Post by Dragneye // May 17, 2008, 6:42am
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Dragneye
Total Posts: 602
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VERY Good job 2much4U
I would have to study it more for crits... right now I just sat back... and took it in. Good work bud |
Post by 2much4U // Jun 13, 2008, 1:38pm
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2much4U
Total Posts: 430
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thanks!
I just took a relook at the song and gave another effort to fix it up a bit more. I know I said it was final, but I just couldn't stand getting a 3 out of 5 on newgrounds.
Here's the latest and greatest:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/150846 |
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