Critique please - First post in a very long time...

About Truespace Archives

These pages are a copy of the official truespace forums prior to their removal somewhere around 2011.

They are retained here for archive purposes only.

Critique please - First post in a very long time... // Image Gallery

1  |  

Post by tscorpio // Jan 15, 2007, 10:11am

tscorpio
Total Posts: 84
"Manic"

TrueSpace/Daz/Photoshop

Let me have it! I can take constructive critizism all day....

Post by Matski007 // Jan 16, 2007, 4:09am

Matski007
Total Posts: 539
pic
Really like this render, very atmospheric perhaps you ought to have some things on the floor though, like some kind of important object that has smashed, thus being a visible reason for his upset, like a smashed glass ball or something, a symbol of his pain

Post by jamesmc // Jan 16, 2007, 4:37am

jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
I like the style, reminds me of art seen a museum.


I would tie the scene with a philosophical value. Like existentialism or one of the other ism's. People will think you are genius then and annoit you with bottled water and lilac scent. :)

Post by Shike // Jan 16, 2007, 5:52am

Shike
Total Posts: 511
pic
Really artsy and emotional ! I like it. :D

Maybe a tiny bit of light bounce into the black area, not much but just to

give vague hints of the surrounding. But still, I love it as it is.


I would tie the scene with a philosophical value. Like existentialism or one of the other ism's. People will think you are genius then and annoit you with bottled water and lilac scent. :)


LOL ! :D

Post by tscorpio // Jan 16, 2007, 9:11am

tscorpio
Total Posts: 84
I used to be obsessed with getting everything techinically accurate, but now I like the freedom that "artsy" stuff has.


The art interept. part:


I saw the course by Zackery Humway and afterwads it got me thinking:

You were inside looking out of a depressed person. What would it look like if you were outside looking in...


The room is the persons mind. The person in the room is their "emotional self" and the masks on the wall are the two moods avaiable to him. As you can see, his "room" is pretty stale and empty.


The shadows act as boundries between elements. They seperate the image into confined spaces - Notice how they run between the dude and his moods - Hopefully that' a visual cue that his emotional self is seperate from his available moods.


The shadows on the masks also hopely imply that even happy & sad aren't "100%".


Howzzat sound?

Post by jamesmc // Jan 16, 2007, 9:21am

jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
I hate when there is more to a painting than I actually understand. I feel so art illiterate. :)


I think I'll find a dark room, perhaps with some masks and hold my head.

Post by Steinie // Jan 16, 2007, 10:10am

Steinie
Total Posts: 3667
pic
I always feel uncomfortable around Eunuchs!


There is obviously more here then what I first saw. Looks pretty good but the floor just doesn't feel right.


That's ok I don't feel right around drippy clocks either...I'm not Artsy sorry.

Post by tscorpio // Jan 16, 2007, 12:19pm

tscorpio
Total Posts: 84
..Or you could say it's a guy hiding in the attic after shaving his head....

Post by Nez // Jan 16, 2007, 11:22pm

Nez
Total Posts: 1102
pic
Looks pretty good but the floor just doesn't feel right.



I like the image generally, but agree that there seems to be something not quite right about the floor, although difficult to say what exactly... Is it just texture/bump mapped or is there some geometry to it?

Post by tscorpio // Jan 17, 2007, 4:47am

tscorpio
Total Posts: 84
It's made up of boards - (Simple elongated cubes) that are textured/bumped/beveled and some slightly rotated so the floor is uneven.

Hmmm!!! Maybe they need to be warped?

Post by brianalldridge // Jan 17, 2007, 3:14pm

brianalldridge
Total Posts: 397
pic
How about shredded up pieces of a note and a broken picture on the floor, a wilted bouquet could be interesting too, looks very nice so far.

Post by 3dpdk // Jan 18, 2007, 11:47pm

3dpdk
Total Posts: 212
pic
Technically; maybe just remove some of the contrast in the boards' grain. I wouldn't make them any lighter though, I don't think you want the focus of attention of the piece to be the floor.

Aesthetically; For my preference, I would crop out some of the black area in the image. If you are trying to give your character that "small" and "insignificant" feeling rather than surrounding him with so much black space, just scale him down a bit. Another idea might be to angle the light coming from the window from slightly front-stage right to slightly back-stage left, slide the character slightly right so he will be lit but surrounded by the black background. (Maybe even just partially surrounded by blackness - might give a little more feeling of being disconnected.

I might try de-saturating his color, but just a tad, not all the way to gray. It might serve to de-emphases his presence.

I like that the masks are only partially visible, one might interpret that being a manic, even though these emotions are available, they aren't complete.

Over all nice image with a lit of visual contrasts.

Paul

Post by W!ZARD // Jan 19, 2007, 2:01am

W!ZARD
Total Posts: 2603
pic
This is an interesting piece and has drawn some interesting feedback.


It feels to me to be a little too empty and I tend to agree with those who have suggested some damaged objects of significance on the floor.


There is a powerful line from one of Stephen Donaldsons 'Thomas Covenant' books that asks: "How do you hurt someone who has nothing? Give him back something broken!"


Hope this helps....

Post by Finis // Jan 24, 2007, 5:36pm

Finis
Total Posts: 386
pic
Impressive! Not much room for improvement. Did you use Makehuman for the man?


Working from your explanation of the piece here are some possibilities.


The stark empty nature of the picture shows the stark contrast of his moods. Too many objects would spoil that so I recommend using the room itself.


I would not move him so that the dark void is behind him. He looks confined where he is and that is appropriate.


He looks like he has smudges of dirt or ash on him. It's probably muscle or detail shadows. I would work on the texture so that there is a deliberate but subtle smudged look to him.


The dark line between the floor and the wall interferes with the window shadow dividing the picture into parts. Somehow join the floor and wall. The floor looks wet to me. Make the floor more warped and uneven, wet and slippery, but still dark like it is now. This poor footing would symbolize that he does not have the foundation of stable moods. The wet uneven floor's contrast with the dry wall could represent the mood contrast.


There are four sections defined by the window shadow. One has the man, one has the mood masks, but the two in the foreground are unused.


Use the wet floor to make reflections of the masks in a foreground quadrant. The reflections would be in the right places but would show different masks -- with neutral or more subdued expressions. This shows his goal but separates it from him. Perhaps the floor in the reflection area could be less rough representing stability. That would also help make the reflections less distorted.


The fourth quadrant could contain something within his reach representing hope or a solution to his situation.

Post by tscorpio // Jan 29, 2007, 8:57am

tscorpio
Total Posts: 84
MakeHuman? No, but that sounds interesting. What is that? I have really liked all the feedback from everybody. All of you have made some very good points. I particually like your point Finis. (About the dark line between the wall and the floor)

So I guess I should have put this in the Work In Progress folder - because now I want to incorporate some of the great ideas.


The guy:

The guy came from DAZ3D.COM, specifically it's the "David 3.0" stock figure.

He was posed in DAZ Studio (A free download BTW) then exported as obj into TrueSpace and textured with a Simboint shader.


I don't mean to sound like a Daz spokesperson, but studio IS pretty darn cool. I got a membership sometime back when they were doing their "Bryce 6 for 6 bucks sale". It opens up discount prices on their comercial content. I decided there was enough there to keep me coming back for awhile. (After I promised my wife I wouldn't spend more than $20 a month on figure accorceries)


Since then I've been purchasing deformations to make the figures more useful for some other stuff I hope to post soon. For those of us that want to use figures but can't create them from scratch yet, I find it to be a good alternative. But the flip side is none of it is qualified to be entered in the TrueSpace contests since I didn't model them mysself.


That's not a biggie for me - I just like making the stuff, not necessarly making it solely in TrueSpace.


What other apps do the rest of you use for your stuff? I use TrueSpace, XFrog, DAZ Studio, Bryce,Aphothysis and Photoshop.

Post by Steinie // Jan 29, 2007, 10:56am

Steinie
Total Posts: 3667
pic
"... the flip side is none of it is qualified to be entered in the TrueSpace contests since I didn't model them mysself."

Not True!
Many object entries are not made in TS. Some not rendered in TS. The only rule is TS should be your primary application.

For years I believed you should only use tS but I have been "Enlightened"...this is the moment a beam of light comes down from nowhere....:rolleyes:

Post by jamesmc // Jan 29, 2007, 11:36am

jamesmc
Total Posts: 2566
needs ketchup

Post by Finis // Jan 29, 2007, 4:45pm

Finis
Total Posts: 386
pic
Makehuman:

http://www.dedalo-3d.com/index.php


I haven't used it but several forum members have.
Awportals.com is a privately held community resource website dedicated to Active Worlds.
Copyright (c) Mark Randall 2006 - 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Awportals.com   ·   ProLibraries Live   ·   Twitter   ·   LinkedIn